Does Friendship Have Limits?

This is a response to Friendship Has its Limits by Erin Biba. The article is about how our social interactions have changed and become more impersonal because of “friending” via Facebook and the internet. The studies that were mentioned in the article said it was not possible to maintain a relationship with more than 150 people at one time.[1] These studies had probably been conducted and proven upon a median or average. It is my belief this is wrong. I believe you can have over 150 close friends and that your friend-count on Facebook can in fact be accurate.

The average person gets up in the morning, eats breakfast, and goes to work. They will see their family, neighbors, and possibly a clerk or someone at a coffee shop on the way. At work they see the same co-workers, a lot of the time; same customers, and then leave for home. My point being, the routine of an average person is one of the reasons people become bored with their life or the continuity of things. If you were to now ask this person if they had 150 close friends, the answer would most probably be no. Does this person have a friend count of 150 or higher on Facebook? Probably, however that is only one person in an average survey.

Let’s take a look at a pro soccer player. My friend Emir Bajrami plays professional soccer in Europe and I’ve known him since I was a kid. His friend count is currently 3,428. Does he have 3,428 close friends he can call on a whim? I don’t think so. Does he however, have 150? I would most definitely have to say yes. People that do a lot of things, go to a lot of places tend to meet and start relationships with a lot more people, common sense. I myself have played hockey on five different teams in the last two and a half years. That alone is 125 teammates combined between the teams. Can I call anyone of these 125 guys up and have a heart to heart, or ask for a place to stay when I am in town? Absolutely yes! I spend every day for months with my teammates and develop a very close relationship with each and every one of them. That is an aspect that brings a team together. I would definitely consider all of these guys close friends of mine.

It is definitely true that I have a closer relationship with a few very close friends and do not talk to 150 friends everyday day. If that is what constitutes having a close friend then I can’t say I have any. There is a very large grey area as to what you can consider a close friend though. In the text Erin Biba says, “Your real friend would call you in tears to pick her up from a car accident”. Does this define who a close friend is? If so I definitely have over 150 close friends, and I am pretty sure there are more people out there that do as well.

To me a close friend is someone you feel very comfortable with and you always have a good time with this person. You can tell them anything without them judging you or ridiculing you, they are someone who will always have your back, and they can take your mind of stuff, and relax you. I would agree that not everyone has an accurate friend count on Facebook but that kind of is what Facebook is about too though, connecting with people from your past. It is possible to maintain a relationship with more than 150 people at once? Call me naive, but I believe one hundred percent yes! It is possible, and it is equally possible that someone’s friend count is true to the number.  

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[1]               Erin Biba, Friendship Has its Limits,  http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/07/friendship_limits/, 2011

Generation Why!

After reading Zadie Smith’s, what seems to me, attack on everything Facebook I was very intrigued by one point she makes. “Shouldn’t we struggle against Facebook?”[1] is a question she poses near the end of the article.  Explaining how we are trapped in the world and mind of its creator Zuckerberg, mindlessly shifting our lives towards a virtual one by the hands of the  puppet master. She continues, “Yet what kind of living is this? Step back from your Facebook wall for a moment: Doesn’t it, suddenly, look a little ridiculous? Your life in this format?”[2] obviously I take a step back and consider it. However, what I find is not in concurrence with what Smith is saying; quite the contrary actually.

I believe Facebook does connect people in a fun, interesting, and self-gratifying way, yes, but more than just so. For those out there with less charismatic traits or cunning linguistic skills in person, I feel Facebook has created sort of an ice-breaker in the area of social interaction. Though perhaps face-to-face interaction has suffered somewhat as an effect of that, I would argue that Facebook is not solely to blame. As Smith argues her point of ways to reach out to people a far can happen by using other platforms such as e-mail and Skype,[3] I argue they are just as much to blame for our lives transcending into a virtual world as Facebook is. Also I would counter by saying, Facebook is more fun.   

I could care less about a film such as The Social Network in the way they portray Zuckerberg, accurately or inaccurately. If I wanted a more accurate picture of the man and what he has accomplished I would use the greatness of the internet. Be that as it may, I must say, that I am thoroughly impressed of how big Facebook is. The way in which a 19 year old was able to create such a massive online world, sustain it, and keep growing through entrepreneurial ventures (ex. WhatsApp); is truly an awe inspiring feat, worthy of all possible praise.

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[1]               Zadie Smith, Generation Why?, The New York Re, http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2010/nov/25/generation-why/?pagination=false, Online.

[2] Zadie Smith

[3] Zadie Smith

Before and After Google - Google as a Medium

These are some of the things that come to mind when I think about Google.

Journalism before Google

Journalism after Google

As a journalist there are countless times I need to do research before I interview someone, write a story, or report on an event. Back in the day, this used to happen through being there on the spot with various equipment or rigorous man-hours. Nowadays, with the complexity of Google, this is possible by sitting on my couch with a laptop in my lap or simply by carrying some new media device (such as Google Glass seen above). Some may say that happened when the internet and smart phones came around. I say it was when Google became my primary source for information.

Let me give you another example: A couple arguing about what the capital of Brazil perhaps? 

Bickering about unknown fact before Google

I told you so after Google

This was an argument that was skipped in 0.24 seconds thanks to Google. They were also able to find out that she wasn’t so far off in this case with her guess of Rio de Janeiro, considering it was the capital until 1960. 

How about that research paper? 

Searching for something before Google

Searching for something after Google

With the progress of Google I cannot even imagine the amount of time it must have taken to do a lengthy research paper for students merely 15 years ago. Though many are forced today to find sources strictly printed, these are typically scanned and available through searching on Google. Plus I do not know anyone today that wouldn’t do a little background research on Google before diving into that pile of books.  

Driving before Google Maps

Driving after Google Maps

Lastly, I love to travel. Since I was young I have been privileged enough to travel around a lot due to my mother’s occupation. Many times during these travels I have found myself lurking around foreign cities in search of unique experiences. Though my sense of direction is typically something I like to boast about, there have been times the city has taken me places far from my ground zero. In those trivial times I have found Google Maps to be my knight in shining armor, rescuing me from being consumed by the city. 

That is my Google. 

Inside Google

One thing that struck me as very interesting in I’m Feeling Lucky, was the nonchalant attitude you sense from all the employees and founders in the startup stages of Google. When Douglas Edwards explains early on how Jay asks him to look at something, “ …standing in the micro-kitchen eating from a cup of yoghurt, barefoot and sporting pajama pants, a well-loved sweatshirt, and a graying ponytail”[1] and it turns out to be a miniature roller coaster that he had made over two sets of desks. It reminded me of this attitude that many of these Silicon Valley, startup guys have going as far back to the master of tech guys, Claude Shannon. Shannon, though revolutionary with creating coding, was always interested in the comedy within technology. It seems this is a common theme for many of these groundbreaking types.

Another interesting dynamic is how Google opposed to Apple is all about the, “Change, change, change. Charge ahead. No back”[2] as explained by Edwards. Though the Google products and software is not yet completely developed, their products are available; they are ever changing in different ways. Rarely is there a perfected Google product released on the market that isn’t altered down the road. Opposite compared to a company such as Apple.

The most characteristically interesting description I found from Edwards is about systems administrator, Jim Reese. “Something about him reminded me of Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man: the open and friendly attitude, hair parted way over on one side, the whiff of geekiness I detected as he crawled under my desk, whipped out a screwdriver and started adeptly fiddling with one of the jacks … it wasn’t what Jim had trained to do at Harvard, at Yale Medical School, or in his neurosurgery residency at Stanford, but somewhere along the line he had developed an interest in computer networking …”[3] even though this company is in the making, a general confidence that it will be successful and life changing is prominent. Many of the employees no matter what position have degrees from reputable institutions, and a sense of this “A-team” is assembled. It is an interesting perspective we receive from inside Google through Edwards’s eyes.

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[1]               Douglas Edwards, I’m Feeling Lucky: The Confessions of Google Employee Number 59, (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2011), Print. Page 15

[2] Page 17

[3] Page 17

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